A promise not to lurk…or at least, to lurk less

In the last few weeks, I (*e*) have been doing entirely too much reading of other people’s adoption stories.  I admit freely that this lurking around to read about other people, most of whom are part of the same Open Adoption blogroll that we joined,  has started to become problematic, especially where we are, the starting line.  This “research,” if you can call it that, began as an effort to prepare us for whatever might happen–and the best way to do that, I figured, was to read about what other people have experienced.  It helps to hear positive stories and be encouraged by people who have been through it.  But then, every now and then, well, actually pretty often, there’s a blog or a comment from a family, mostly still clinging to positivity, that has been waiting for 18 months. 22 months. Two years.  With the very same agency whose basket will be holding all of our metaphorical eggs. Big stomach-clenching bummer.   Then, there come the comments that are anti-adoption in general, pointing to negative experiences and broken trusts.  Another bummer.

I peel myself away from the computer and proceed with a droopy Bassett hound expression to discuss these finds with *A,* who is ever the optimist (it’s one fantastic reason we’re such a good match) and who knows, by now, what to expect from her partner’s “research.”  She ever-patiently reminds me that we can never know the whole story about these families, since we don’t know them personally, so there’s no real point in worrying about the “just in case” situations. Without even rolling her eyes, she asserts that there’s no real comparison between this and continually getting picked last for dodgeball teams in middle school PE class.  Of course she’s right. And of course I’m just a worry-wart (though I did loathe dodgeball season). Worrying is just a many-generations-long family tradition none of us on my side of the family can seem to shake.

And then, the next day when we’re at our separate places of work, *A* sends me a YouTube video to make me smile, and the joyfulness of this little kid reminds me why all of this, whatever comes,  is so worth it.  All those worries go away, for a while at least.  So do what I did: bookmark this video and watch it often.  I dare you not to laugh!

laughing baby


3 thoughts on “A promise not to lurk…or at least, to lurk less

  1. actually, i was picked early in dodge ball because it was the one sport i was good at 🙂 maybe that is the root to my optimism, i don’t know. part of it is i feel putting out negative energy into the universe is counter productive and i like to keep things in perspective. we don’t know about these families and what the circumstances are around their adoption plan. i have to keep things in perspective so i can stay positive, yes, a bit of a cycle, i realize. i think positive to keep perspective and i keep perspective to stay positive.

  2. Of course you were good at dodgeball. That confirms so many things for me about your before-me life. 🙂

    I’m not sure I ever excelled at any sports (big surprise), but I cleaned up in Scholar’s Bowl in high school. I could almost always zing the literary questions—it was like “I can name that book title in two syllables.” Opposing teams would groan and roll their eyes, ready to throw in the towel for that match. (In my mind, anyway).

    So it seems the list of things I’m officially handing over to you is growing yet again:
    Plumbing: check
    Car Battery Repair: check
    Dodgeball: check

    Good thing I can still squish bugs like a pro and clean out the cat box, or I’d be completely useless.

  3. Pingback: Open Adoption Bloggers Book Club – Megan’s Birthday Tree | the littlest Brooks-Livingston


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