This morning, our social worker did our final home study visit. It went really well. I think we all felt more at ease with each other this time around and according to *A,* I was much more talkative than I had been. At our request, we re-addressed some questions we had answered earlier in our interview together, ones for which we felt we had not given the answers we really felt would give our social worker the best picture of who we are. There were several moments where bits and pieces of the two interviews fell into place to make our story more understandable – as we knew it would, so we’re glad we went back and talked about a few things again.
See, after last time, our first home study visit, we had some concerns that it wasn’t going the way we thought it was supposed to, though we didn’t really know how it was supposed to go, for sure, but we felt like we were just answering questions on our paperwork all over again. We had a meeting with our Adoption Coordinator last Friday in Raleigh to address our concerns, something we really wanted to do before today’s meeting. That meeting went really well, and we left feeling tons better. Similarly, after today’s visit, we feel tons better.
One of the areas we revisited was transracial adoption. I’ve posted about this before, and we’ve talked about it in book reviews here too. It’s something to which we’ve given a lot of thought and consideration. We haven’t taken any part of this process lightly, but our openness to transracial adoption is one area that we feel that we didn’t express well in the first visit, saying that it “wasn’t a big deal.” What we meant was not that it isn’t a big deal, because it most certainly is. What we meant, and should have said, and did say today, is that we know firsthand what discrimination, ignorance, and hate can do, and we will do everything we can to protect our child(ren) from that. Whether or not we are lucky enough to be entrusted with a child of a different race (yes, lucky, and we don’t say that out of naivety), our kid(s) will learn from us about love, acceptance, diversity, and difference, and I’m sure we will learn from them as well. And we are prepared to accept the challenges that come along with dealing with others that are not similarly minded – hopefully with patience and grace rather than anger and frustration. I think we did a better job this time of getting those points across.
After the follow-up interview, we showed her around the house. No white gloves. She just asked about the square footage, the number of bedrooms, bathrooms, and stuck her head in each of the rooms. She met Tucker, who was corralled on the back porch and was absolutely overjoyed to meet her (but minded his manners and kept his wagging butt on his big green pillow, thank goodness!) The walk-through really was no big deal. And we have a sparkly house (again). Yay for that.
Now that the home study visits are complete, she has six weeks to write the report, which we’ll get to see so that we can make sure everything is in it in context and how we want it.
We’ve got to get going on our Dear Birthmother letter and our iheartadoption website. It’s been a flurry of activity up to this point – we can’t start dragging our feet now!