We got our monthly report from our adoption counselor a few days ago – she told us our Expectant Parent letter went out four times in the month of January (out of the agency’s reported 42 intakes last month). There are several reasons for our low count – which is based on how many times an expectant parent’s criteria matched our profile. Some of these elements we are in control of, as they are based on decisions we made (read more about some of those weighty decisions here and here or find out how our profile is sent to expectant parents contacting our agency here). Some of these elements are not something we can change – they are based on the expectant parent’s decision to exclude potential adoptive parents living in certain states/regions or to include only certain ones, or to consider profiles of prospective adoptive parents of a particular race only, for example.
Now, at five months into the “official” wait, we have not yet been contacted by an expectant parent (either working through our agency, or who found us elsewhere – Facebook, Pinterest, this blog, our Adoptimist page, our little pass-along cards, and so on). It’s unpredictable – in December it was sent out nine times, but with our profile having been sent out only four times in the month of January, we are #1 disappointed, #2 trying not to be too reactionary, and #3, considering how it might be possible to raise that number based on changing our profile – for those parts of our profile that are up to us. We are still very sure about what situations we feel comfortable considering, so there’s not a lot of room to expand our profile, as we’re pretty wide open as it is. There’s really only one area of possibility that would increase our profile’s visibility, and we’re considering the commitment that decision would involve. It’s not related to the health or identity of an expectant parent(s) or anything like that, but it’s a significant decision all the same.
The weight of the wait sometimes feels very heavy – and while there are other things to be happy about and we’re trying our best not to put life on hold, while waiting on this particular bit of happiness to appear – we are finding that yes, indeed, it is taking its sweet time.
source: Brook Rose