Adoption Love Link-Up: Making Adoption Part of Our 2015

A few months ago, in September, I joined a blog link-up sponsored by Kristen, whose blog Adoption Love has been a big encouragement to us for well over a year now.  Though I participated in the first link-up, which was sort of an introductory one, I either wimped out on subsequent ones or didn’t get myself together enough to write about them.  2015 will be a much more together year.  Yes.

The first set of questions / writing prompts for 2015: “How will adoption play a roll in your year? What are your hopes and dreams? Are you waiting for your little one to come home? Write about how you imagine that happening…How will you contribute to the adoption world this year?”

One at a time…

adoption is loveHow will adoption play a roll in your year?

Adoption continues to be one of the main things our lives revolve around – waiting for it to happen, that is.  I think *A* will agree with me, though, that in the year and three months that we’ve been “in the books” with our agency, our ability (or really, willingness) to really live our lives during the wait has ebbed and flowed.  It’s tough to not see our annual traditions as way-markers, be it our escape-the-winter-yucks weekend trip in January/February, our family camping trip in May, Mother’s Day, Father’s day, birthdays, the holidays…and almost wish we didn’t have to celebrate them without our Littlest with us.  But I’m (slowly) trying to realize that we can’t really live life “on hold.”  We’ll do tons of memorable things – and share years and years of traditions – once our Littlest does get here.  Adoption continues to be that elusive thing we chase after, as we are full of hope that an expectant mom will see us for who we are and will see why we will be great parents.

What are your hopes and dreams?

We have no idea what might be in store for us this year, and we hope and dream and plan for 2015 being THE year!  Just think: we’re a whole year closer than we were this time last year.  We have twelve fresh months in front of us – so many great things are possible this year, when one phone call can change our lives.  We’re ready!

Are you waiting for your little one to come home? Write about how you imagine that happening.

Yes, yes, yes!  (on the waiting part) We’ve imagined the homecoming – or really, getting “the call,” happening in so many ways – usually as a last-minute situation.  This line of thinking has increased a bit since we joined our agency’s “Last Minute Hospital List” when we were eligible in October (I wrote about that here).  That’s not at all to say that we haven’t imagined a situation where we might have a few weeks or so to get to know an expectant mom and her family.

Even though we’ve done tons and tons of preparing – the reality of being a dad at last will hit me and I’ll probably be some sort of New Dad version of The Three Stooges, minus poking anybody in the eyes (I hope!) , as I put the baby in the car seat for the first time, attempt to clean up the first poop explosion (while trying to puzzle out how on earth that much poop / barf could come out of something so small), or try to figure out what to do with a small human whose head wobbles dangerously if not held just so.  Of course, I’m speaking entirely about myself here.   *A* will be perfectly at ease with a newborn, I have no doubt.  I predict that she’ll be eye-rollingly at ease, watching my scared-something’s-gonna-break-any-minute antics.

However it happens, we hope, if it fits with an expectant mom’s and dad’s wishes, that we can get to know them and that our Littlest can have a relationship with them as they grow up – emails, phone calls, photos, visits – the whole thing, if they’re okay with it.

How will you contribute to the adoption world this year?

We hope, hope, hope, that it’s moving our descriptor from “pre-adoptive” to “adoptive” parents, for one!

We’re glad to have the outlet of blogging to add our voices to how adoption is understood and experienced.  There are lots of fantastic stories out there – this month actually rounds out two full years of blogging about adoption on The Littlest Brooks-Livingston, during which we’ve gotten to “meet” (even if only online, so far) some great people who are connected to adoption in some way.  We’ve gotten to know some of our long-time in-person friends better, too, as we’ve shared the ups and downs of our adoption story and have been encouraged by their support.

We’ve learned so much about adoption since we decided that this is how we want to start our family.  One of the reasons that we continue to blog about it (other than the fact that our story isn’t over yet!) is that we hope that we write about encourages  and educates other folks thinking about adoption the way we’ve been encouraged by the folks whose blogs we’ve read.  We’re not an adoption poster family, by any means, and that’s sort of the point.  There are many ways to approach adoption, but each of them takes time, it’s frustrating, there’s so much to do, there’s so little to do, and no one thing is the right thing to do for every family.  We have hopes and dreams and feel like giving up sometimes, but we do our best to keep on keeping on, because unless we give up on our dream to share our lives with a Littlest, that’s all we can do.  We understand, far better than we did before we began to consider open adoption, the importance of keeping contact with our child’s birth family, if at all possible.  We try to write about all of these things here – I don’t know if it’s so much a contribution, but like I said, it’s at least adding our voices, our experiences, to the other adoption stories out there.

link-up

If you want to see other blogs with folks participating in this month’s Adoption Love link-up, click here.

You can you read our intro post from September 2014 for the Adoption Love link-up, click here.

 

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14 thoughts on “Adoption Love Link-Up: Making Adoption Part of Our 2015

  1. I love the way you describe the wait as so much to do and so little to do. I know what you mean! I really hope 2015 is y’all’s year! Like you said just keep on keeping on (joe dirt reference? I love it!).

    • Well, I’ve never seen Joe Dirt. But I’ve heard that phrase come from my mom’s mouth more times than I can count for my whole life. She hasn’t been wrong about it yet. And thanks for the good wishes for 2015! 🙂

  2. I agree with the above comment, that I love your sentence about so much and so little to do. It’s so true. I just wanted you to know that your “great wait” blog was one of my strongest inspirations during the great wait. I felt like it drug on for so long and although I remained hopeful I was tired of waiting. My husband and I were matched this summer and had our baby boy on Dec 2nd, about 15 months after beginning the process. I know it feels like forever, but you know there is light at the end of the tunnel and I can’t wait to see what 2015 has in store for you also! Best wishes. –MaryEllen (PhantomKicks blog)

    • Thank you so much, MaryEllen. It is so helpful to hear from someone who made it through the wait. I’m so glad that our blog was helpful for you during the wait. It’s been good for us – just putting our thoughts out there and having folks identify with us and how we’re feeling makes us feel less isolated. Thank you for your encouragement! We’ll keep our minds focused on the end of our tunnel – with great expectations for seeing our Littlest this year! Congratulations on your new little one! What a great way to wrap up 2014!

  3. I think we met at IAC’s Waiting Families support group in Georgia in January. Daniel and I remembered you because you were the only ones who’d traveled farther than us to be there! Anyway, I saw your blog on the Adoption Love blogroll and decided to check it out. I’m so glad I did! I really love your your attitude and writing style. When I figure out how to get our blogroll working, I’d love to add yours.

    • Hi Emily,

      Well, it wasn’t us you met – we live pretty far from Atlanta these days (we used to live in Marietta) – we’re about 4 and a half-ish hours away, I think. We are with the IAC, though, and I’m glad you found our blog! Thanks for the nice words and for adding our blog to your blogroll – our WordPress site doesn’t have that feature – I don’t think. I’ll check into that. *A* and I look forward to reading about your story. Super clever website name, by the way! 🙂

      • How funny! I opted to read your blog specifically because you looked so familiar. Apparently, there’s another pre-adoptive dad with IAC who looks like you, and to make it weirder, his wife looks like yours. For what it’s worth, their contribution to the discussion that night was both interesting and insightful — another reason I thought you were the same people.

        Regardless, I’m glad I found you guys. And although I’m looking forward to keeping up with your blog, I hope the rest of your wait is a short one.

        • Well, I’ll have to scour the Georgia iheart page to find our twins! 🙂 I did figure out how to do a WordPress blog roll a bit ago – so, true to my word, yours is on there – just scroll to the bottom of this page – it should be listed on the right-hand side.

          I, too, hope our wait is winding down! Good luck to you guys, too!

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