Last June, I wrote an article for America Adopts that I titled: “An Open Letter to Our Future Child’s Birthfather.” The article was published just before Father’s Day, which was fitting, as it was my first Father’s Day of our “official” wait. This past Friday, on a post on their Facebook page, America Adopts linked the article again, I suppose in commemoration of Father’s Day. And while I published it on our blog in April of last year, I had not re-read it until now.
After reading it again, I thought about what’s changed and what hasn’t changed in the past year. It’s true, I’m not a dad yet, and I haven’t gotten to meet the guy that will be our kid’s birthfather. But he and I are a year closer to that possibility than we were.
The part of the article that is the actual letter to our child’s birthfather – all those things I said then seem to carry even more weight now, for some reason. The hopes I mentioned then continue as hopes now, as do the concerns and our reasons for respecting the decisions this person will make. And, a year later, I often find myself imagining and wondering what that link to fatherhood between us might be like. We might not ever meet in person. We might or might not be friends if we just met each other sometime. But we’ll always have one person in common. Someone who will, and I’ll make sure of it, think of two reasons to celebrate Father’s Day.
With that in mind, although I have no idea who he is or if he’s even an expectant dad yet, I wish our future child’s birthfather a happy father’s day. And as an ever hopeful dad-to-someday-be myself, I’ll grin at the thought of future father’s days, too.